


Confessions

by sparkysparky



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Caretaking, Destruction of Vulcan, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Missing Scene, Post Star Trek 2009, mention of canon character deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 10:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27968807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkysparky/pseuds/sparkysparky
Summary: A missing moment between Spock and Nyota after the 2009 movie. Set on the Enterprise's trip back to Earth after defeating Nero.
Relationships: Spock/Nyota Uhura
Comments: 12
Kudos: 34
Collections: Mistletoe Exchange 2020





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRaven/gifts).



> I really hope you like this, LittleRaven! I tried to think of a moment between them that I would have liked to have seen, and hope it hits home for you.

Spock found Nyota on the observation deck, staring out into the black. Her back was ramrod straight, and he could see the tension radiating through her. He moved up beside her, hesitated a moment, then ran a hand over her hair, stroking the long, sleek tail of it. A gesture of comfort, he hoped, and one he was still learning to be comfortable with. She turned to look at him, some of the tension leaving her shoulders and a small smile on her lips, then looked back out into space. 

"I am sorry about Gaila, Nyota." 

"Me too." 

The news had come while the Enterprise was limping back to Earth after defeating Nero. No survivors reported from the rest of the fleet, and Gaila had been on the Farragut. It was a devastating blow to Starfleet, and a personal one to Nyota. Gaila had been her friend, her roommate, the sister of her heart, and she was gone. Like his mother, like his planet. Like so many others. 

They were silent for another moment, this time it was Nyota who broke it. 

"Our last conversation was about Kirk, you know. I gave her hell for messing around with him." She let out a laugh, but Spock knew there was little humor in it. "But she was so excited for the mission, for the chance to serve on the Farragut." She closed her eyes, let out a shuddering breath. "I'm going to miss her. So much." She turned to him then, her lovely brown eyes filled with emotion but no tears. "I'm glad you're here with me."

He reached out for her again, drawing her into an embrace. The familiar feel of her in his arms eased some of the soul-deep ache within him. She rested her head on his shoulder, her arms tight around him. Grounding him to the present, grounding him to her. 

"I love you, Nyota." 

He felt her stiffen against him. They'd never said the words, and he knew she hadn't expected them now, or possibly ever. They had always been just words to Spock, not as important as actions. Humans said a lot of words, and the vast percentage of them were meaningless. But he knew now that wasn't always so; his father's admission of love for Amanda had shifted something inside him. How might his childhood have been different, if Sarek had said those words? 

Nyota pulled away, just enough so their eyes could meet. He saw sorrow and grief in her eyes, along with surprise and joy. "Ashau nash-veh tu."

The declaration wasn't a surprise to Spock. Nyota showed him every day that she loved him, through her actions, her words, her expression when she looked at him. He knew she knew how he felt as well; he showed her as well as he could how much she meant to him. She made him a better man, more compassionate and understanding, and he worked hard to make sure she knew how devoted he was to her. Their relationship was not without complications: she was a cadet still, and there were cultural differences that couldn't be overlooked, but they worked hard for what was the most satisfying and intense romantic relationship Spock had ever had. 

What did surprise him, however, was the depth of emotion he felt hearing her tell him she loved him in his own language. The words had a power, a weight to them that he hadn't been prepared for. It almost took him to his knees, added to the weight of everything else that had happened since receiving the distress call from Vulcan. But this was a good weight, a balance to the bad. 

They settled against one another again, falling back into an embrace that was as intimate as it was comforting. They let the silence fall over them, each taking the chance to digest the words that had been spoken. Others might have felt the need to fill the silence, and her understanding of when words weren't necessary was one of many things about Nyota that Spock loved. They stood like that for long minutes, their heartbeats syncing together as they embraced. 

"We should sleep. Shift change is in a few hours." 

He gave her an amused look, one eyebrow twitching minutely. "Acting Captain Kirk does not seem to have much need for formal shift assignments," he reminded her; under normal circumstances that would have annoyed him, but somehow Kirk's approach of 'let people do their damned jobs, Spock' was working, and the crew had organized themselves with ruthless efficiency. 

"No, he doesn't, but I'm exhausted and you need sleep—real sleep—too." 

"As First Officer, I have private quarters. I do not think anyone would begrudge us a standard rest period." 

She snorted, and this time there _was_ amusement behind it. "No, they would not," she agreed.

It was a quick walk to the officer's quarters, and they found that the decks along the way were mostly empty. No one paid them any attention, too intent on their own tasks. More ruthless efficiency, Spock though, not without pride. He and Nyota would not be missed for a standard rest cycle, which was all a First Office could ask of a crew.

Once they reached his quarters, they undressed in silence. Nyota disappeared into the bathroom to wash her face, then slipped into bed while Spock did the same. Necessary personal hygiene tasks seen to, he slid into bed beside her. She moved into his arms naturally, and they lay with their faces only inches apart. 

"Gaila's the one who told me to take a chance with you. Did I ever tell you that?" 

"No, but it does not surprise me. I am honored that you took that chance. Have I told you that?" 

She smiled, warm and happy but still tinted with grief for her friend. "You haven't, but I knew." She kissed him then, just a brush of her lips against his. 

"We should sleep." He could feel his body trying to react to her kiss, to the feel of her against him, to her scent, but where the soul was willing, the body was spent. "They will need us before long." 

She made a soft, murmured sound of agreement, eyes already drifted shut. He stroked her hair; a new favorite of his, and let his own eyes shut and hoped he dreamed of love.


End file.
